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Funniest (Greatest) Yik Yaks of 2014

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Below you will find “hot” yik yaks. A hot yak is the most upvoted yak at a given time. The yaks posted here are the hot yaks from areas chosen at random when I happen to check out Yik Yak. These are not necessarily the funniest yaks but they are the most popular at that random time. Expletives have been censored.

Also see:

Hot Yaks from Austin Texas, March 22, 2015:

Goodbye, sxsw. Hello, pcl.

Dear APD Officer who caught me and my fiancé smoking behind home slice and then smiled and walked away; you are beautiful and the world needs more LEO’s like you. I hope you have a great day.

Hey SXSWers. Don’t move here.

Managed to get none of my work done over spring break so I’ve got that going for me.

Why am I so desperate for a relationship when I don’t have my own life together?

Giles don’t poop. That’s why we’re so full of s**t.

Hot Yaks near Disney World, March 22, 2015:

Kid- “Mom, why don’t you scoot over?”
Mom- “How about you don’t tell me what to do because you’re 12.”
Disney truly is a magical place.

Magic kingdom is the best birth control.

Disney = witnessing misbehaved children and lots of bad parenting.

Disney. #freetheleashkids

If you work at Disney you probably shouldn’t be homophobic. Just saying.

Riding the monorail while intoxicated = best ride at Disney.

Featured Yaks of November 11, 2014:

Remove a letter from a movie title:

Me in Black: I fight aliens dressed in black.

Don’t tell mom the babysitter’s DEA: Two kids set out to bust their drug dealing parents.

Riders of the Lost Ark: A story of an adventurous archaeology professor that hitches a ride on Noah’s Ark.

Battlehip: A group of old ladies unite against the struggles of Pilates.

Winnie the Poo: A poo that loves honey

Yogi Bar: A bear with a serious drinking problem.

Mob Dick: The story of the mafia’s connection with the p*rn industry.

Mami Vice: My Cuban mother takes on the streets of Miami.

Finding Neo: The Matrix Saga returns with a new twist. The savior has been kidnapped by scuba diving dentists.

Odfather: Story of an old Italian man who asks strangers to kiss his ring for no reason.

Ad Boys: Movie Stars Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are back at it again to stop the fraudulent ways of plagiarizing men in their advertising firm.

Ridesmaids: Rough Cowboys take over a maid service.

Bing it on: A school of Blonde high school cheerleaders prepare to learn how to use search engines.

Gone Gil: A fish must find out where his gills went.

Gone Gil: A fish must find out where his gills went. Funny Gone Girl Meme #YikYak #GoneGirl

Wayne’s Word: Grammar time, excellent.

Footlose: All the amputees dance their feet off.

Hot Yaks of November 11, 2014:

Eastern Kentucky University

If you’re reading this, you survived another Monday, and that my friend is something to be proud of.

If you're reading this, you survived another Monday, and that my friend is something to be proud of. #yikyak

Yik Yak is for the statuses I can’t post on Facebook.

Auburn University

I love girls who text first. Mom you da real MVP.

Sister: Where is Nicaragua? Me: Central America. Sister: So like near Kansas? Me: I see poles and body glitter in your future.

If a license plate starts with MG or SG, watch out. Stands for municipal / state government which means dey undercover cops.

Hot Yaks of October 29, 2014:

Coastal Carolina University

As a college student my two favorite words are “free” and “cancelled”

Up this if you get on Yik Yak every day hoping someone around you just anonymously called you hot

Heely shoes don’t have brakes cause swag stops for no one. (Not original but funny as s**t)

UNC Wilmington

Professor: There are no stupid questions
Class: Challenge accepted!

Flash just went off when trying to send a Snapchat to my roommate of this guy I think is sexy and he asked if I took his picture kms

Some people my age, 19, are engaged and I haven’t been in a serious relationship in my life.

University of Georgia

S/O to the girls who wear whatever the f**k they want. Thank you for adding diversity to this campus.

This girl just let her guide dog take a s**t in our lecture hall then she picked it up with her hand and dropped it in her bookbag.

NCAA: National Communists Against Athletes.

Hot Yaks of October 21, 2014:

Duke University

There is no reason to tailgate me when I’m going 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous.

There is no reason to tailgate me when I'm going 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous. #yikyak

I realized that Duke is a lot like preschool: Everyone is sick, misses their mommy, takes naps, and has no idea what is going on

I need to marry a doctor so that I can make her order for me at restaurants. Tat way, every time my food comes, I can say “Ah, just what the doctor ordered.”

University of Hawaii at Manoa

I can’t comprehend how half my friends are still at UH. They never go to class, they party every day, and fail all their midterms. wtf?

Moment of silence for the mainlanders who miss chipotle

I honestly could picture myself as a duck.

Abilene Christian University

Anyone have a McDonald’s employee shirt I can borrom? I want to look like a hsu grad for Halloween.

I just want a girl that’s on fire for God (but is still down to earth and relatable to non-Christians), pretty, likes to be active, and wants tosave sex for marriage.

EAT becomes FAT if you don’t draw a line.

Boston College

Just saw a squirrel get blasted into the air when the sprinkler he was siting atop suddenly turned on.

I remember when iTunes songs were $0.99

FUN FACT: If you take out your intestines and lay them end to end, you will die.

College of Idaho

Yesterday I got so blazed I forgot it was fall break and went to my first class.

I wonder how many calories girls burn jumping to all these conclusions.

Sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Dickinson College

If a Dickinson student takes a selfie is it a dick pic?

Good thing fall pause is over, I was getting way too used to using towels to dry my hands.

Some of the things guys do to try to get girls on yik yak are pathetic. Post your numbers if you agree ladies.

Some of the things guys do to get girls on yik yak are pathetic. Post your numbers if you agree ladies. #YikYak

Georgia Tech

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck up b*tches

F*** men and their non bleeding genitals

Whenever an app with anonymity is released, at least 80% of the users will be abnormally horny men.

North Carolina State University

Its only 9:00 and my roomate is already in bed. I didn’t sign up for this.

Instead of a period, how about mother nature delivers a cookie tray every month?

I feel like I’m the only one who’s legitimately worried about barely passing all of their classes this semester.

Stanford

For real tho, walking into the history corner as an engineer is like “holy s**t, this is where they keep the hot ones”

Relationship goal: A relationship

Nothing ruins a Friday more than when you realize it’s Tuesday.

Hot Yaks of October 16, 2014:

University of Oklahoma

Pro tip: To keep annoying roommate away: say that since you came back from OU-TX you have felt feverish, my roomie hasn’t come back for 3 days.

Just heard a black guy call a squirrel a squigga

We’re on featured, y’all! Please try to keep it classy. We don’t want people thinking we’re a bunch of Longhorns.

Appalachian State University

Wifi has been on point since everyone has left

I wish I could fast forward 10 years and see how it all plays out

IHOP IS OPEN!!!

Texas State

I can’t wait to hear the Kidz bop cover of Anaconda

Saw some girl almost fall down alkek trying to take a picture of her Starbucks.

Wakes up and gets dressed. Gets fashion degree at UTSA.

UNC Greensboro

To the person who copied me on my exam earlier: we failed.

I think that once you graduate high school you should get a year off to actually decide what you want to do with your life. Everything’s so rushed.

I miss making all A’s like in 6th grade. L

University of Chicago

My phone went off in mansueto and four people turned around in their chairs, I felt like I was on the voice.

Shoutout to students, TAs and Harper Tutors that explain the subject better than the teacher.

The pH of blood is about 7.4… So technically we’re all basic.

Hot Yaks of October 12, 2014:

Bocconi University

Bocconi should have nap rooms

Teachers should really have a trial period… Because some of them f***ing suck

Don’t try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate eachother.

Bucknell University

The weirdest thing about going home for break is not wearing shoes in the shower.

To that kid who won’t stop making annoying yaks: the whole campus hates you

Before I leave, to the football team: Destroy Lehigh

Lehigh University

Can I just skip joining a sorority and get a personal chef in my room?

Your age is the number of times you went around the sun.

Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, you’re fine, don’t be a b**ch.

McGill University

I love my abs so much that I protect them with a layer of fat.

You don’t need his approval, what you need is a grilled cheese.

Puberty is when you put down your pokeman cards and realize there’s t*tties out there.

Oakland University

I swear I was smart in high school

Not a day goes by when I don’t consider dropping out of college.

When your room gets dark and you realize it’s night time and yo’ve done nothing today.

Rice University

According to this box of mac and cheese I’m a family of four.

Just took my birth control with vodka. Let the bad decisins begine!

Drunk texted my ex, got a degree in communications from UH.

Stanford

Relationship goal: find someone who treats me the way Kanye treats Kanye

Overheard: Dad walking with little kid yelling. Dad: “Hey! No screaming! A lot of people are hungover”

Notice that your body is covered in skin and say “wow, I’m so skinny”

University of Alabama

The best place for a DUI checkpoint would be at the end of a Taco Bell drive through at 2am

I remember when iTunes songs were $.99

If you put your ear up real close to a tramp stamp, you can hear the daddy issues.

University of Hong Kong

First month in HK: typhoon. Second month in HK: revolution. Idk whats going to happen in November but I’m kinda scared.

#fightfordemocracy #occupycentral #proudofHK

Crazy time to be an exchange student here. We love you Hong Kong

Western Michigan University

Why can’t the food in the dining halls be like the food at Hogwarts

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one on this campus that doesn’t drink or smoke

If you take the elevator to go down one floor, I hate you.

Hot Yaks of October 7, 2014:

San Diego State University

I was a 4 here on campus. Then I got a dog. Now I’m a 10.

Welcome to state where when you see an attractive person instead of saying hello you just yak about them and say “they can get it”

American Horror Story: My bank account

University of Arkansas

Kinda wanna be 21. Kinda wanna be 6.

So according to P*rnhub, I have a lot of single moms interested in me. At lease I have that going for me.

do y’all like sodium, or Na?

University of Maryland

When you upvote a yak, you make someone’s day better at zero cost to yourself

(P+L)(A+N)= PA+PN+LA+LN I just foiled your plan

A college kids 2 favorite words: “free” and “cancelled”

Temple University

If I don’t get a text back from a girl in over 5 hours I don’t trust her cause I never met a girl who isn’t always on her phone let alone 5 hours. let alone 5 min s**t

Brunettes are sexier

If you don’t enjoy college you’re doing it wrong

Abilene Christian University

I like yoga pants. They’re comfortable and make me look d**n good, but I’m getting tired of comments like “hey, you’re d*ck is showing”

This Ebola virus seems pretty serious, I’m going to take an extra flintstone gummy tomorow morning.

I’m a lot nicer than my “walking to class” face. I promise.

Butler University

Slowly learning that high school academics did not prepare me at all for college

Girls that come to the HRC without a dude are the real MVPs

Schwitzer needs a nearby playground. Call is Schwitzerland

Colorado State University

If you don’t wear your under armor backpack are you really a CSU athlete?

Why I don’t give money to the homeless: 1. They will use the money for drugs and alcohol. 2. I need that money for drugs and alcohol.

Secretly changing my major to housewife with a major in mom.

Furman University

A back entrance to the library would increase my studying time by a solid 6 minutes.

All these people getting married or in serious relationships, and I’m just over here like I’ll get a dog one day.

When you are eating alone and a hot girl comes over and asks if anyone is sitting there and takes the chair back to her table.

Harvard University

Only a freshman would think it was a good idea to get drunk on a Tuesday night and throw a football in the hallway setting off a fire alarm. Bye bye you’re expelled.

#saveloretto

Good luck finding a place to sleep in Loretto tonight kids… So tragic.

Hot Yik Yaks of October 1, 2014:

Babson College

“Give it to me” she said. “I’m so wet”. She could beg all she wanted but I was never gonna give her my umbrella.

I never say peoples names out loud because I’m not completely confident that it’s actually their name.

I’m going to start a Viking themed bar. It will be called Horn Pub.

Bradley University

There’s mixed feelings about bashing fraternities. But when it comes to bashing ISU, w can all agree we are a better school. #BradelyPride

Turned my laptop on and accidentally got a masters degree in computer science from ISU.

Tossed a beer to my buddy and accidentally became ISU Football team’s quarterback.

Iowa State University

Shout out to my mom who just beat cancer. You’ve done so much for me. Love you mom!!!

The worst part about being a virgin is that you could be sacrificed at any moment.

According to my Nike fuel band, I have j****d off 3.2mi

Slippery Rock University

I still can’t figure out a convenient way to shave my legs in these showers.

I wish there were more hours in the day, boys were nice, and bread didn’t make you fat.

Do you ever think about all the really nice drunk girls you meet in the bathroom and wonder how they are doing? I do… I miss you all.

United States Naval University

To the plebe bragging about having a 4.0 at six weeks: haze yourself

If this whole Eboa thing goes south, I’m hijacking a YP and bailing #thelastYP

Just called a 2/C’s mom to complete a signature assignment. Needless to say he wasn’t expecting that #fightingthegoodfight #shewasaverynicelady

Syracuse University

4 yeas ago I went on the first date with my girlfriend, and we’re still killin it. Time flies when you’re having fun.

I hate when engineering majors call themselves engineers. You don’t see pre med students calling themselves doctored or art majors calling themselves pizza delivery guys.

*Ebola tries to enter the US* Frat guy: who do you know here?

Cornell University

Asked a girl for a rubber in class. Forgot in the US they call it an eraser.

There’s a think line between trying to get your participation points and BEING ANNOYING AS F***

“I’m sorry” and “my bad” mean the same thing unless you’re at a funeral

Hot Yik Yaks for September 29, 2014:

Belmont University

I’m feeling about as motivated as the dude who created the Japanese flag

Yik Yak has given us what Facebook has not: a dislike button

I got three guys numbers today… You could say this group project is getting pretty serious

Boston University

I use the text line in Snapchat to hide my imperfection

Sometimes I forget that it’s illegal for me to drink

I was asked today how lesbian relationships are viewed here at BU. Apparently “mostly in HD” was the wrong answer

Denison University

Why when girls ******bate it’s “hot” but when I do it it’s “gross” and “despicable” and “not allowed in the library”?

Sometimes I look up at the stars and wonder: Why did Cars get a sequel but ‘The Incredibles’ didn’t?

Taking a girl to the Bandersnatch would be the typical Denison Date, if Denison students went on dates.

Eon University

Cool sorority girls get mammograms, not just monograms #breastcancerawareness

wtf Pats

So you mean I have to buy my own scooby doo fruit snacks? -Adulthood

Georgia State University

My 14yr old Internet girlfriend said she’s an undercover cop. How cool is that for her age?

I’m not sure what carbon dating is but at this point I’ll try anything.

d***it, attractive girl, you were a 9 until you lit that cigarette. Now you’re like a 4

Kansas State University

I got gas for $1.08 today, too ad it was from Taco Bell

I got gas for $1.08 today, too bad it was from Taco Bell. #yikyak

I saw a squirrel fall out of a tree today so I guess it was a Monday in the animal kingdom too.

Whoever smelt it delt it, so technically officer, this is YOUR weed.

Marshall University

Don’t worry homework, nobody is doing me either

How many times do you think we’ve seen the same squirrel twice? -smokes blunt

NYU

A girl just walked into my suite, said “Oh sorry I don’t live here” and walked out. I’ll have 12 of whatever she’s on

Bank account and GPA be hardcore racing to 0

When you get a warning from chase that you have 11 cents in your account

Penn State

If a girl sleeps with you to get adderall, does it make her an attention wh*re?

Ah yes, fall. The leaves are falling, the weather is cool, and girls are breaking up with their boyfriends from back home.

My soul crawls out of my body when my butt accidentally touches the wall of the dorm’s shower.

Hot Yik Yaks for September 26, 2014:

University of Alabama

One Direction takes the stage at Beta in 10 minutes! Guys enter free!

That triple fudge chocolate cupcake almost made up for the fact I haven’t gotten laid in 6 months. Almost.

All of my snack on MyFitnessPal are alcohol. I feel guilty because vodka is a snack.

American University

I hope my ex has to walk through wet grass in flip flops every morning. That’s real hatred.

*hits blunt* if apple made a car would it still have windows

3 beers into this paper and I still don’t have a thesis.

Bucknell University

Everyone’s hanging out with their parents all happy and s**t and I’m just in my bed like…..where’s my tequila

All these girls acting all sweet in front of their parents like they don’t gargle more d**k than mouthwash

Anyone else cleaning their room before their parents get here?

Florida State University

Wasn’t planning on going out tonight but it’s my fake IDs birthday so why not

The party don’t stop til I walk in #FSUPD

How many points we beat NC State by: ———>

North Carolina State University

Anyone from ECU in Raleigh? If so let’s transfer here and be roommates. ECU

State was the last team to beat FSU. Why not again?

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

UNC Chapel Hill

Last fall a stranger stuck up a conversation with me on the bus, unknowingly ending my plan for suicide that night. Hope & change can come from the smallest of things. Forever proud to be a Tar Heel.

I’m worried that I may have already met the man of my dreams, but I probably told him to f**k off.

You can unfriend me on Facebook, unfollow me on Twitter. But you will never unlick my B**thole.

Marquette University

Dear freshman girls, five guys is a burger joint, not a typical week.

s/o to the kid that used a guest swipe on a homeless man. you da real mvp

Debit: Alcohol consumption Credit: Regrets

Franklin and Marshall

My “walk past you like we never met” game is too strong

True embarrassment lies withing your first email address

You think starbucks is expensive per cup? Try Victoria’s Secret.

Hot Yik Yaks for September 23, 2014:

Illinois State University

Petition to close school for a week because 75% of ISU is sick and just 100% of us need a break.

Stop bullying fat people, they have enough on their plate.

Backpacks before 5PM are for carrying books to class. After 5PM they are for smuggling booze.

University of Alabama

Calling UAPD it’s like “six callers ahead of us Jimmy”

Proud of all the people who stayed on campus and didn’t let some punk *** threats change their everyday lives.

Still waiting to be in a fencing match and realize I was fencing my identical twin.

Rutgers University

Having a girlfriend in college is like adding 4 more credits to your schedule.

Never let the printer know you are in a hurry. They smell fear.

never let the printer know you're in a hurry. they smell fear #yikyak

I wish there was a beach near campus. Getting st*ned and being on the beach sounds appealing.

Georgie Tech

Freshman tip: Wear a yellow bandana on your arm this week to show your GT pride!

That feeling when your code works

Opened a door for a girl. She said “Thank you”.

James Madison University

Imagine being a dog… sh*t everywhere. Humping everything. It’s like being a frat guy with a better understanding of the word “no”.

Am I the only one who has a certain group of friends that I’m never quite sure I’m accepted by?

Wanted: guy who will push me at the gym and then push me up again the shower wall after..

Randolph College

Does this mean I have to present my paw pass to eat from the garbage now?

To the positive pregnancy test in the leggit bathroom… You are gonna be a great mother.

Sometimes you just have to take a step back and remember that there is a world outside of the red brick wall.

UNC Charlotte

My phone just auto-corrected Harvard ti Bacardi so that basically sums upmy life.

You cannot taste me until you undress me. – Banana

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually uses water.

University of Hong Kong

Today’s forecast: Pollution and 1,000% humidity

I upvote my own yaks yo

Being a st*ner is so difficult in this city, especially as an exchange student.

University of Pittsburgh

Spilled a beer on my calendar, now the whole year is wasted

My bathroom smelled pretty s**tty today so I sprayed lemony-orange febreeze in it. The smell in my bathroom now is like no other… I call it “sh*trus”

If diamonds are a girl’s best friend, does that mean my ex is going to sleep with them too?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, does that mean my ex is going to sleep with them too? #yikyak

Hot Yik Yaks for September 22, 2014:

Bucknell University

I really hate when people talk down about other schools. Like at least they’re getting an education. Except Lehigh. F— Lehigh.

Started off the year with a goal to lose 5 pounds. Only 10 more to go.

started the year off with a goal to lose 5 pounds. only 10 more to go. #yikyak

To the really hot girl who just winked at me with both eyes in the library. I’m so down.

Lehigh University

dogs should live forever

dogs should live forever #yikyak

I heard a DG stole KDs letters

Good news is KD is getting initiated the right way by being hazed by the test of the campus

Hot Yik Yaks for September 21, 2014:

9/21 was a Saturday. The hot topic on Yik Yak today was of course, college football. Below are some funny/hot yaks taken just after the Clemson Tigers vs Florida State Seminoles game.

Clemson University

Number of people pissed right now —–>

Clemsoning: the act of losing what is completely in your grasp

Give it up for our boys. they worked hard. everyone makes mistakes. but think, some of our best players are freshmen and sophomores. the best is yet to come.

Florida State University

There is a God and he’s a Seminole

Shoutout to Clemson kicker you the real mvp

FSU is the best school on the planet! Rage on!

Gonzaga University

Just spooning my boyfriend. Out of his container. And he’s ice cream.

The wife is out of town, party at my crib tonight.

Gonzanga basketball has final 4 talent this year #KennelUp

Hot Yik Yaks for September 18, 2014:

Boston University

“I wish I checked myself.” -guy who wrecked himself

"I wish I checked myself" - guy who wrecked himself #yikyak

Making up for low grades with high calories

Can you feel it mr krabs

Elon University

Hook up with girls every weekend just so my fraternity brothers won’t know I’m gay. Afraid they’d actually kill me.

my RA just came in asked if my fridge worked, and left. that was my room check.

Shoutout to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

I hope one day my name is on the front of an index card that a kid is trying to memorize

Florida State University

Jameis is the Kanya of College football

People with book bags after 9PM: 30% going to the library, 70% transporting liquor

Clemson students shower with their bathing suits on

Harvard University

When you have to pull the stray hair out of your butt when you’re washing your hair #girlprobs

I like elevator rides with pretty girls who smell nice

Thirsty Thursdays? More like let’s sit on yik yak Thursdays

North Carolina State University

Got on my laptop to study but clicked netflix and now here I am 2 seasons later

I told my parents they could only come this weekend if they brought my dogs. Let’s face it we all miss our dogs more

I never realized how hard it is to make friends in college

Ohio State University

The Mexican restaraunt doesn’t serve chips and salsa so I guess people can just do whatever the f**k they want now?

There’s no shame in up-voting your own yaks just to get the ball rolling

Dropping out to sell crack..

Penn State

Police: “how high are you?” Me “I believe it’s “hi, how are you?”

Absolutely nothing in pnn state is free I’m surprised we don’t have to pay for the air yet

What’s the limit of d as it approaches v? Haha calculus jokes

Randolph College

if you’re a homophobe you probably shouldn’t have come to a private liberal arts school that used to be all women.

Oughta make a Walmart run for supersized condoms cause everyone’s actin like a d*ck

Don’t stick your pen*s into random glory holes, it may turn out to be an electrical outlet…

Syracuse University

Every day I struggle between :I wanna look good naked” and “treat yo self”

Shout out to the guy walkng aound campus with a flip phone, I know you won’t be able to see this, because you don’t have a flip phone.

if I were a male hamster trying to hit on a lady hamster I’d be like “are you from Amsterdam? cus hamster DAYUM!”
sometimes I hate being human…

Troy University

Serious question: why is there a “D” in fridge, but not in refrigerator?

I swear Beyonce can do not wrong. She could throw her baby off a bridge and people would just be like “Well I heard she was talkin’ s**t”

Everyone with an iPhone 4s knows they’re next on the chopping block.

UNC Chapel Hill

Final exam grade has me really hoping my future husband is out there somewhere making A’s

Final exam grade has me really hoping my future husband is out there somewhere making A's #yikyak

“Simba everything the light touches is Chapel Hill” “What’s that over there?” “That is Duke, Simba… f**k Duke”

Guys, I don’t know how to come out to my parents either. They both went to Duke and I only went here for “money reasons.” How do I tell them I’m a real Tar Heel now?

Hot Yik Yaks for September 17, 2014:

Abilene Christian University

Saw a couple praying together before they ate at the bean. Cute sh*t, man.

Nice try Abilene but your attempt at a rain storm is about as successful as getting people to pay attention in chapel

To whoever stole my dog: I hope he bites you. And pees on everything you own. *sshole.

Appalachian State University

Can’t imagine how hungry mu Nintendogs are right now.

Rearraged my dorm room. Now there’s so much room for activities!

I think my neopets died.

So my boyfriend asked me for my ring size.

Bucknell University

snorted adderal and remembered my runescape password from 6th grade

My girlfriend said she’s upgrading iphones because the 6 is an inch bigger. I hope to god she doesn’t do the same with me.

When’s guys smell good they instantly become more attractive >>>

Cornell University

My black friend asked if he could use the colored printer and I replied “it’s the 21st century, you can use whichever printer you want”

my mom just called me for the first time this month and congratulated me bc cornell is not the worst ivy anymore

Maybe if we emailed the constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it.

Cornell saves money by taking left over wood from construction and shaving it down into toilet paper

Georgia State University

My teacher assigned a ten thousand word essay today. Some dude in the back got up and said I don’t even know ten thousand words n left the room

funny yikyak - My teacher assigned a ten thousand word essay today. Some dude in the back got up and said I don't even know ten thousand words n left the room

A moment of silence for the fact it is only Tuesday.

Awkward moment when you see your roommate on yik yak typing that he is starting to hate you

It’s always the person you least expect to be a badass at the crosswalk who leads us across like a jaywalking Moses.

The only way they’re getting me to pay that much for the iPhone 6 is if they finally figured out how to unsend text messages,

North Carolina State University

If you don’t like Mac and Cheese, f**k you.

I have to say the bra-less feeling is one of the best

When I see couples names carved in a tree, I don’t think it is cute. I just think it’s crazy how many people bring knives on a first date.

I think curvy girls are way sexier than super skinny girls

don’t you hate when your guy best friend gets a girlfriend and start acting funny towards you.

When a guy tells a girl she looks good it makes her day, but when a gay guy tells a girl she looks good it makes her week.

Funn yik yak - When a guy tells a girl she looks good it makes her day. but when a gay guy tells a girl she looks good it makes her week.

Penn State

S/O to the guys who were making fun of my “flabby legs” while I was running today. Yes I am a little overweight, but I’m also TRYING. It’s people like you who make other wanna give up before starting

Trying to friend zone homework but it keeps f***ing me

As a girl, i get personally offended if you DON’T get a bon*r when we cuddle.

You guys like sodium? Or Na

Stanford

Please don’t steal my bike

Apparently, 75 percent of incoming freshmen are virgins. Based on the number of cargo shorts I saw last night, I’m not surprised

In all seriousness congrats to the Stanford freshman every decision you’ve made your entire lifehas led you here

University of Chicago

The struggle of turning off the light switch when you’re already hella comfy in your bed

When I see a bruised apple in the supermarket, I give it a soft hug and whisper “who did this to you?”

Doggy style means you get a treat afterwards, yeah?

Can’t believe how different booty calling and butt dialing are.

funny yik yak: I can't believe how different booty calling and butt dialing are.

Wake Forest

Every time I get food on campus I think about how bad it must feel to work at a college when you could never go yourself. We’re lucky to be here

D*mn my girlfriend can handle a massive load and by girlfriend I mean washing machine… I’m so lonely

I got a 22% on the first accounting test, and look at me now! A successful comm major, don’t worry guys!

I think that both guys and girls can agree that taking a bra off is an amazing feeling.

Layola University Chicago

“Hey dad do you have any pictures of me when I took my first steps?” “No I had to delete those to get iOS 8 lol”

 "Hey dad do you have any pictures of me when I took my first steps?" "No I had to delete those to get iOS 8 lol"

the best feeling is going to your dorm room and your rommate isn’t there

Fourth day of quitting smoking

Hot Yik Yaks for September 16, 2014:

Boston College

Getting a care package in college is equivalent to getting a sponsor in the Hunger Games

Under construction since 1862

Socrates would be that kid in class that reminds the professor to collect homework

Carnegie Mellon University

Sometime the moon looks like a carrot if you just hold a carrot in front of it and look at the carrot instead

In all honesty, sometimes I just put on yoga pants just so guys will stare at my *ss

Shout out to the guy in the Sutherland lounge having a study session with three girls at once.

Colgate University

Rumor has it that Shia Labouf is here filming the next Wallstreet Movie. It centers around his douchebag son in beta

When the professor asks a question and everyone pensively flips through the pages of the book pretending they did the reading.

That moment of sheer panic when you turn around to see who you’ve been dancing with for the past half hour at the jug

Alphabetizing Skittles

Just pulled out my insulin pen and some girl goes “is that an e-cig”

Duke University

With all the geniuses at Duke, I’m pretty sure my only purpose here is to lower the curve on exams.

This 60k a year gym membership comes with a free education

The irony of them singing about places I’d rather be

Elon University

Freshman: not every black guy on campus is William Kamkwambe… I’ve been asked to sign books today… C’mon people.

we should connect all of the fountains and make a lazy river

Life is so hard when your best friend is a 9.5 and yo’re a solid4 with the right lighting and filter

I constantly worry about how my dog is aging while I’m not at home. Plzz don’t die pup

Why do guys never wanna take girls home to snuggle?

Ariana Grande sounds like a font on Microsoft Word

Harvard University

My homework never gave verbal consent so I’m not gonna do it. #PlayingItSafe

SIX CALLERS AHEAD OF US JIMMY

holla if you’re in that long distance relationship struggle and you’re h*rny af

Randolph College

liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. toothpaste before orange juice, dead.

Now having a phone case is like not wearing a condom. It feels so much better but it’s consequences are so much worse.

huge turn on. When they breathe

Hot Yik Yaks for September 15, 2014:

University of Denver:

The gold tower is like the North Star for drunk college kids

How many CC kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? ———->

“Don’t kid yourself” would be a great slogan for an abortion clinic.

University of Maine:

The only B word you should ever call a girl is beautiful. B**ches love being called beautiful.The only B word you should ever call a girl is beautiful. B**ches love being called beautiful.

Everyone’s eyes are so f***ing red at hilltop right now

It’s 11 o’clock on a Monday night, is it really too much to ask for people to not be bumpin music, yelling, and slamming the door every 30 seconds?

Duke University:

I feel like 80% of the student body majors in competitive complaining.

High school: you went to sleep at 10:30? LOSER College: you went to sleep at 10:30? You ae the luckiest f***ing man! I wish I could be you. That’s the life.

If “flushing the toilet” were a section on the SAT, I swear half of these kids wouldn’t have gotten in

University of Virginia:

Stop the microwave at 0:01 to show her that your pullout game is strong

Wake Forest University:

Snapchat, all on frat floors. Snapchat, take even more. Snapchat, til we get bored. Snapchat, ooohhh

That stressful moment when you really like someone and you’re not sure that they’re into you

Being with a pretty girl and then being unable to stop thinking about her

The floor of our showers is just urine and thousands of potential children

Clemson University:

If there’s more than one person in a Tinder picture, it’s usually the uglier one.

I thought I was a procrastinator then I met Clemson lofts

When you’re in the middle of a shower and you realize you left your towel in your room…..

Curves are nice on women but curves on tests are even better

The Clemson Flue is spreading. Beware fellow students.

The Funniest Yik Yaks Ever

These are not necessarily the funniest, but are the top rated yaks ever (based on “Yakarma”) Updated 9/17/2014.

F***ed this girl for an hour and 45 seconds last night. Thanks daylight savings.

Always a disappointment when you realized you shaved for nothing.

When I die I want my group project members to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

To the douche on the date night who tipped $0 and wrote f*** you on your tab: your date thinks you’re a tool and I hope you step on a Lego and don’t get l*id.

The drinking age really should be 18.

Sorority girls travel in odd-numbered packs because they can’t even.Sorority girls travel in odd numbered packs because they can't even

Curves on women are nice, but curves on final exams are better.

When I send in a yik yak I feel like I’m sending in a tip to gossip girl.

Today I overheard a dad say to his son, “You could definitely lose your v*rginity here” the son immediately gets embarrassed and looks towards his mom to scold his dad, but she just nods in agreement.

HUGE TURN ON: When people smell good and are hot. Sometimes spicy. Wrapped in tinfoil. Are actually burritos.

Nothing says “I respect you” quite like a 2am “what’s up” text.

Just saw a guy run to catch up with a girl so he could share his umbrella. Keep doing you kid.

I knew I was f***ed when the Asian guy sitting next to me said “sh*t” during that exam.

When you take a 10 minute study break and it lasts the entire year.

Upvote if you’re straight, down vote if you’re gay. I’m sure we’d have a lot of down votes from Sigma Chi.

All. Senior. Citizens. Should. Have. Life. Alert.All. Senior. Citizens. Should. Have. Life. Alert.

How many sorority girls does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 to change it, 2 to take pictures, and 54 to make tshirts of the event.

Alabama changed the drinking age to 32 in order to keep alcohol out of high school.

Seen funnier yaks?

Well go ahead, post them below (Please note that our spam filter blocks profanity).

Len

President at Telapost
I create content and do SEO for law firms, small businesses and companies worldwide. I have been generating traffic online since 1992. I have owned multiple successful companies. I'm an organic eater, nature lover and German Shepherd owner. Feel free to contact me here.
2 Comments
  1. Speaking as a college student, there are not many things that make me laugh more than Yik Yak.

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