Update 9/30/2014: September 27 & 28, 2014, my Twitter feed looked exactly like it does below. I am not sure if it was an error or if they were testing a new algorithm on certain users. As of the 29th, my feed is thankfully back to normal. I am not personally a heavy Twitter user, I just use it to follow a few people, see what Vanilla Ice is up to, and see news from real people that the main stream networks do not cover, or do a terrible job at covering. Due to this, I have renamed this article from “My Twitter stream is filled with junk!” to “Will Twitter fill your stream with Junk?”. I sincerely hope this never happens to myself or anyone else again. Enjoy.

This is a rant:

On mobile, my Twitter stream has suddenly been filled with junk. Apparently it is the new algorithm. That, or it is just me, as I checked with a few friends and their stream was ok. So, who knows. Below is a look at what my stream looks like. A big, fat stream of garbage rendering the app useless. I can’t see any posts from accounts that I am following, and the icing on the cake is that over 9 out of 10 posts are now garbage.

A look at my stream:

Pizza Cake? I don’t want pizza. I don’t like cake. I definitely do not want pizza cake. I do not know what a pizza cake is. It looks disgusting, it can’t taste good, and it will make me dumber and fatter than I already am. And below that is some Harvard Biz Review. What the heck is that? Isn’t Harvard a college? No Twitter, I do not want to see Harvard Biz Review’s infographic telling me that ROI, innovation and blah blah blah is whatever. And I just unfollowed Sarah, whoever that was. My gosh:


Alright, what’s next? My friend Ben follows @ESPNCFB. That is wonderful. You know he follows that account? I am guessing it is because he likes college football. Duh. If I were a fan I probably would have followed it, too. Doesn’t everyone know what ESPN is? And below that, what do we have? Mac Miller? Who the heck is that? Is he trying to take a dump or sing? I am not sure. Either way, I don’t want to know:


But wait, there’s more:

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-52-00What is this???

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-52-35 And here it is AGAIN. Congrats Dennis:

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-53-4845 annoying photos? Really? I just saw 45 annoying Tweets. Do you think that I now want to go see 45 annoying photos? And what is next? Should I text my ex or not? Is this stream modified for 12 year olds or something?

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-55-10How humanity is destroying the environment?? Why are you showing me this? I work from home, you probably drove a 6,000lb SUV to work. And then we have the Mariners. In the rare event I watch baseball I want to see the Mariners lose. Is this post promoted? Why is it here?

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-55-51Again, my friend Jesse follows @ESPNU. Great for Jesse. Why does Twitter think I want to see this fat guy pole dancing??? Then below that is @evilhag. Who is evil hag? Is she really evil? Is she really a hag? Is she my 9th grade math teacher? Who is Chris Pratt? I do now want to know and I don’t understand what is going on:

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-57-38What is this? Suggestions on who to follow? I can see how some of these might be useful. But, I already can’t see the posts from people I am following, so what good would it be to follow more people? Then below that, yet another buzzfeed article. I have never clicked on a buzzfeed article, why do they keep doing this to me?:

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-58-13What is this? Ok, Sharon follows @cnnbrk. Wonderful. UFC & Ben favorited something… Ok, why are you randomly telling me this? You didn’t tell me earlier when Jesse favorited something- is a hamster making these decisions? And what the heck is “PEOPLE Babies”? Why is this in my stream? Is it promoted? It is just sitting there. I do not follow this account and I don’t want to know what Hillary is doing today:

Screenshot_2014-09-28-13-58-57Twitter has completely ruined my stream. Is this a new “feature” rolling out to everyone? Are they just messing with me? Will I keep using Twitter? I don’t know, maybe if I want to tweet someone, but browsing the stream is definitely not an option at this point. Thanks Twitter!


Leave a Reply